​We frequently place limits on ourselves without realizing it. Don't believe everything you hear and get cause up in false ideas. We seldom exceed our expectations, so it is important to set high but realistic expectations. Do not sell yourself short.

​Over the past couple of weeks, we have focused on overdependency, its roots, the damage it can cause and what we can do to move past it.

How would you like to see your independent life in a month from now, in a year from now?

What changes need to be made to fulfill this vision?
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Visualize yourself making these changes and then one step at a time, make them. Life is not going to change completely over night, but it will change one day at a time. Have the courage to take the first step!

We looked at setting boundaries with our partner, parents and friend.

We can also enroll into classes for learning something of interest or doing something you enjoy. Learning new things broadens your awareness and builds self-esteem. It could be a course on self help for personal development (a win win) or a hobby that would be fun.

Also, quality relationships are more important that quantity but do not place your life into one person’s hands. Socialize with likeminded individuals. Have a circle of friends. There are more and more groups opening back up now. Take advantage of this.

​We know what overdependence looks like but what can we do to not only cope but thrive?

What triggers you personally to reach out for your partner, parent or friend because you do not feel capable of dealing with the issue yourself?  

Speak to your partner, parent or friend and ask them to assist you by establishing boundaries of when and when not to give assistance. Have them remind you that this is a decision you can make on your own.  

Each independent decision made on your own will build confidence for the next decision.  The first step is always the hardest.  Each step afterwards becomes more and more easy.  

This is a good start.

​We know what overdependence looks like but what can we do to not only cope but thrive?

Again, it is natural to rely on others for things we cannot do ourselves.  Reach out for professional help if you have tried to deal with overdependence unsuccessfully.

Things you can do to help yourself include all the things we suggest continually in our posts including meditation, relation, walks in nature, healthy nutrient as these are staples for a healthy mind, body and soul. 

​You must also incorporate self study.  We cannot deal with an issue if we do not understand why we do what we do. Information is power!

Let’s look at some personal coping skills in our next post.

We have touched on the traits and links to overdependency, but did you know there can be physical symptoms that accompany overdependence?
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It is not uncommon for someone who is overdependent to experience headaches, muscle aches, digestion issues, sleep issues, etc.

It is natural to be dependent to some degree. Right from birth we are dependent on someone, at the very least, to feed us. 

As adults, we are dependent on others who are trained as mechanics, plumbers, electricians, physicians, etc. to help us in our day to day lives.

Emotional overdependence can be linked to over authoritarian parent(s), abandonment, but particularly with those suffering from low self esteem, low confidence, insecurities, etc.
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Overdependent individuals usually lack confidence in themselves. They can fear rejection and as a result, will not voice their opinions and are submissive in fear of offending those they depend on.

These individuals generally do not want to take responsibility for any decisions, big or small.

Overdependent individuals generally do not like to be alone and experience a feeling of emptiness when they are alone.

Being alone can create anxiety ​

Someone who is overdependent on others may find it hard to make decisions without a partner's, parents, friend's etc. input. They may put the individual they depend on up on a pedestal and experience jealousy around this individual’s relationships with others.

Overdependent individuals may stay in an unhealthy or abusive relationship to maintain the support they feel they cannot exist without.

​We just finished our focus on self doubt.  We would now like to take a look at “overdependence” in the next few posts.

Overdependence is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “dependence to an excessive degree”.

Overdependence can be with a person, a relationship, an action, a substance, etc. We will focus on emotional overdependency over the next few posts.

​What can we do to make “I can’t into I can”?

We have previously suggested not to compare, that its okay to make mistakes, and to reflect on achievements and practice.

There is one more important step………Question your negative thoughts.

Question them!

Step away from negative thinking. Always use positive self talk. Stop planting negative seeds.

Write your own positive affirmation and say it to yourself whenever it is required.

Remind yourself that you are brave, that you are capable and you want this!

“I run because it's so symbolic of life. You have to drive yourself to overcome the obstacles. You might feel that you can't. But then you find your inner strength, and realize you're capable of so much more than you thought.”  Arthur Blank

​What can we do to make “I can’t into I can”?

Stop comparing yourself to others.  We each have our own strengths and weaknesses.  You would never compare an apple to an orange.  Don’t compare yourself to others.

Remember that it is human to make mistakes.  Stop being so hard on yourself.  Without mistakes we would never learn and grow.  Mistakes are lessons.  Learn from them and move on.

Reflect on your past achievements. If you are a visual person, write them down and read them over.  Remind yourself that you were capable in the past and you are capable now.
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And do not forget practice, practice, practice!  

It is helpful to understand why you experience self doubt. Most self doubt stems from past experiences.
What experiences in the past could have contributed to your self doubt?

Are you afraid of change?

Do you compare yourself to others?

Did your upbringing emphasize perfection?

What are your past failures? Do they define you?
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What are your expectations?

​Symptoms of self doubt can include second guessing your decisions or not deciding at all, choosing to be a spectator as opposed to a participant, procrastinating, lack of motivation, anxiety, being negative or expecting the worse, thinking others are better than you, blaming yourself when circumstances turn out different than expected….to name just a few.
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What can we do to make “I can’t into I can”?

According to the Oxford Dictionary “self doubt” means the lack of confidence in one's self and one's abilities.

Everyone suffers from self doubt at some point.

Self doubt may affect only one aspect of our life, or it may be completely debilitating.
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We will dive a little deeper into self doubt over the next few posts.

​We have been looking at withdrawal management over the past few posts.

There are many tools for success available to us.  The most important tool is determination to see the goals through.  Remind yourself why you are making this change and what the long terms benefits will be.

Do not hesitate to reach out for professional withdrawal management.

Hypnosis is a wonderful tool to help boost confidence and to reduce stress and anxiety around withdrawal.

​Withdrawal has many different symptoms. 

Withdrawal management is essential to your success and safety. If symptoms become too great or concerning, reach out for assistance to ensure your success but some withdrawal symptoms can be managed with simple tools.

It is not unusual to feel fatigue, depression, anxiety, etc.  Do what you can to prepare ahead of time to manage these reactions. Eat well (prepare and freeze healthy meals ahead of quitting), get out into nature when possible, be with friends and people who support you (but not those who share your addictions), sign up for yoga and/or meditation classes (download guided meditations from You Tube or other apps if you are not feeling up to going out in the beginning).  Record a reminder to yourself of why you have decided to quit and make sure to include all the benefits you look forward to when you are addiction free in your recording. Play this to yourself as frequently as required.

Ensure that you get lots of rest. Even if you are experiencing insomnia, lying down and resting has its benefits even if you do not sleep.  Rest is medicine for your body and mind.
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You can do this!

Withdrawal management is the care for an individual who is experiencing withdrawal symptoms because of reducing or quitting the use of drugs of other substances whether prescription or otherwise.

We touched on general withdrawal symptoms on Friday.

Not everyone requires treatment for withdrawal. For withdrawal that you can manage on your own, it is important to take advantage of activities that will distract you from your symptoms. Most importantly however keep reminding yourself why you are quitting.

Withdrawal management is essential to your success and safety. If symptoms become too great or concerning, reach out for assistance to ensure your success.
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Withdrawal management is the care needed when experiencing withdrawal symptoms as a result of reducing or quitting the use of drugs (prescription or otherwise) or other substances.

Withdrawal symptoms can vary subject to the dependency. General symptoms can include aches and pains, headaches, hallucinations, nausea, vomiting, cravings, lack of appetite, elevated blood pressure and heart rate, mood swings, insomnia, fatigue, depression, anxiety, irritability and more.

Withdrawal management is the care needed for those experiencing withdrawal symptoms because of reducing or quitting the use of drugs whether prescription or otherwise. This also applied to alcohol.

Withdrawal symptoms can last as little as hours up to weeks depending on the dependency.

We will go a little deeper over the next couple of posts on dependency and withdrawal.

We have focused on fatigue over the past few posts.

Do what you can to figure out what is causing your fatigue and take steps to help yourself.

Eat healthy, exercise, eliminate caffeine and alcohol, establish good sleeping habits and eliminate stress where you can.  If fatigue continues for an extended period or gets worse consult your doctor.
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Make yourself a priority or your body will!

As discussed earlier, there are numerous reasons we may experience fatigue. Overscheduling, stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, lack of exercise, body aches and pain, illness, depression or other mental health issues, etc.

We focused on nutritional eating last Friday, exercise and sleep on Monday and stress on Wednesday. Today we will focus on illness and pain.

Body pain can certainly interrupt a good night’s sleep and cause fatigue. Sleep is essential to feel refreshed and energetic. If the body pain is from the first practice of the year at the beginner of a new baseball season, then you know it will pass. Warmups and stretching will go a long way.

If your body pain is chronic, please see you family doctor. A few physio treatments may have you sleeping well, and you can bid fatigue fair well.
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Many illness and physical conditions can cause fatigue. If you have eliminated all possible reasons for your fatigue but your fatigue continues, again consult your family physician.

As discussed in an earlier post, there are numerous reasons why we may experience fatigue. Overscheduling, stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, lack of exercise, body aches and pain, illness, depression or other mental health issues, etc.

We focused on nutritional eating on Friday and touched on exercise and sleep on Monday. Today we will focus on stress.

There are many reasons why we may be experiencing stress. Some reasons are completely out of our control but there are other causes that we can manage or eliminate. It is impossible to go into depth with every reason we may be experiencing stress but we will look at a couple of obvious ones.

Marriage issues and stress can be connected to finances, communication, child rearing, etc. How can you deal with stress related to your marriage? Can you cut costs, make time to talk with your partner, ask for help with chore, go out on date nights to reconnect, etc?

Our jobs can certainly be stressful. Are you doing the job of two people? Are you getting close to retirement and the job is too demanding? Have you discussed the issues with management? Can you retire? Have you looked for another job that would be less stressful?

If stress can be eliminated, are we taking the steps necessary to eliminate it?
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What is one thing you can do today to eliminate some stress in your life?

As discussed on Friday, there are numerous reasons we may experience fatigue. Overscheduling, stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, lack of exercise, body aches and pain, illness, depression or other mental health issues, etc.

We focused on nutritional eating on Friday. Today let’s go a step further with self care. Proper rest and exercise are very important as well. When we are busy, we tend to skip exercise but that is when we need it the most. Make exercise a part of your daily schedule. Prioritize taking a walk. Exercise will assist in providing energy to get us through the busy days, in getting a good night’s sleep, in helping us to destress and in boosting our mood.

The thought of exercise when you are fatigued seems overwhelming but push yourself. You will be thankful you did!

There are numerous reasons we may experience fatigue occasionally. Overscheduling, stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, lack of exercise, body aches and pain, illness, depression or other mental health issues, and the list goes on.

To correct fatigue, we must first figure out the cause or causes.

Life can be very hectic and in today’s lifestyle, we tend to take on more than we should. Self care gets dropped to the bottom of our priority list and unfortunately, this is at a cost.
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You cannot feed a family from an empty cupboard. Take care of your body so that you can do what is important to you. Eating junk food on the run will not provide your body with the nutrients it requires to keep up a fast pace. Healthy nutrients provide energy. Do you eat nutritious foods?